Until Today by Mark Anthony Thomas, American Poet and Author

you’d think my heart sees
something my mind knows
isn’t there;

like your priority,
like your attention
& affection;

though my eyes have always
been accused of being too hopeful---
as I looked at

un-piercing walls &
still tried to nail through them;
untamed forests &
struggled to domesticate them;

& I’ll admit---
I can be overly optimistic at times.

which is why I tried to love you &
only asked that you love me too,
like you said that you did---
& so I believed.

now my mind is left to give my
heart something that’s no longer there…

like openness,
like warmth,
& even interest

& though my spirit has always been
accused of being too gated---
as I looked at

broken hearts & tried to shield
& guard mine;
preoccupied dreams of love
& preventing them in mine;

& I’ll admit---
I’ve been overly protective at times.

which is why I tried to open up to love you &
asked only that you love me too…

like you said that you wanted to---
& swayed me to believe
& so I believed;

until today.