Until Today.

You’d think my heart sees something
my mind knows isn’t there…

like your priority
like your attention
& affection

though my eyes have always been
accused of being too hopeful—

as I looked at
un-piercing walls
& still tried to nail through them;
 
as i looked at
untamed forests
& struggled to domesticate them;

& I’ll admit— I can be overly optimistic at times.

which is why I tried to love you & only asked
that you love me too
like you said that you did— & so I believed.

now my mind is left to give my
heart something that’s no longer there…

like openness
like warmth
& even interest

& though my spirit has always been
accused of being too gated—

as I looked at
broken hearts &
tried to shield & guard mine;
 
as i looked at
preoccupied dreams of love &
preventing them in mine;

& I’ll admit— I’ve been overly protective at times.

which is why I tried to open up to love you & asked only
that you love me too…
like you said that you wanted to—
 
& swayed me to believe
& so I believed;
until today.

Mark Anthony Thomas
Copyright © 2004

>> back to Poetry